Includes bibliographical references (pages 303-305) and index.

Introduction -- The eighth cousin -- The world family tree -- DNA sharing is caring -- A great (or possibly terrible) idea -- A pandemonium of genealogists -- Historical voyeurism -- Genetic jambalaya -- Groundhog Sam and my 2,585 southern cousins -- Embracing failure -- Should family be abolished? -- The good cousin -- Adam and Eve -- Kissing cousins -- The Greatest Generation (and the upside of cigarettes) -- Thank you for having sex -- Biological and logical families -- Ellis Island -- Our Neanderthal cousins -- Family feuds -- Who's your father? -- Son-in-law of the American Revolution -- The mega-tree revolution -- Our animal cousins -- Big love -- The other side of the dash -- Privacy -- The genius of Isaac Newton -- Fathers and sons -- Twins and twins, also more twins -- Five mothers -- Black sheep -- My presidential cousin -- Tradition! -- The Kevin Bacon delusion -- The pilgrimage -- An ocean of cousins -- Cheers to the dead -- My celebrity cousins -- 51 percent of the family tree -- The melting pot -- The FBI and my grandpa -- The great surname challenge -- Awkward family photos -- Brother versus brother -- The global family reunion -- We are, without a doubt, irrefutably, family.