Not-so-little house on the prairie: eat red meat -- Hail Mary, full of beans: horse sense > the Bible -- Ubermann/Offermensch: how to be a man -- Football troubador: don't be an asshole -- Walking beans: work hard, work dirty -- Carnalisthenics: Leviticus can blow me -- Enter Dionysus: don't walk alone -- Doing time: be smart while getting stupid -- Born again again: the moustache makes the magick -- Wax on, wax off: make a goddamn gift -- Kabuki farmboy takes Chicago: carry a handkerchief -- Subaru leavings: discern your ass from a hole in the ground -- Resurrection: measure twice, cut once -- Romantic love: love your woman (a paean to Megan) -- Finding Swanson: let your freak flag fly -- Nowadays: go outside.